Divorce impacts everyone in the family. If you’re a parent, you already know that divorce hits kids uniquely hard. Custody schedules can help make the transition easier, but what happens when your kids don’t want to follow that schedule?
First: Don’t Stop Following the Custody Schedule Just Because Your Child Doesn’t Want To
This is incredibly important. If your child is already struggling to accept the divorce, telling them they don’t have to comply with a custody order might seem like the kind thing to do. However, it can lead to significant negative consequences for you and your child.
If you don’t follow the agreement, you could be charged with contempt of court. As a result, you may receive even less custody time.
Remember that in Maryland (and in other states as well), family court prioritizes the best interests of the child, not just the child’s wishes.
If your child is unhappy with the current custody schedule, you may be able to seek a modification through the court.
Understanding Your Child’s Feelings
Children and teens may not want to cooperate with the existing custody schedule for a variety of reasons, and not all of these reasons will be enough to prompt the court to make a change. Although each situation is unique, there are several common reasons parents request custody changes.
The Other Parent Is Abusive or Lives in an Unsafe Environment
This situation goes beyond mere preference. If the child is being abused or the other parent is jeopardizing their safety, the court would be very likely to intervene.
There’s Significant Conflict With the Other Parent
Depending on the reason for the conflict, courts may or may not be willing to consider modifying a custody agreement.
For instance, if the child simply doesn’t like the other parent’s house rules, the court would be unlikely to modify the agreement. However, if they are experiencing emotional and behavioral issues as a result, it may be best to seek a modification of your custody schedule.
The Child Wants to Spend More Time With Friends
If most of a child’s friends live near one parent, the child might want to spend less time with the other parent. But in most cases, courts wouldn’t consider this reason enough to change a custody agreement.
Practical Steps to Take if Your Child Doesn’t Want to Follow the Custody Schedule
If your child is reluctant to follow the established custody schedule or is refusing altogether, taking certain steps may help protect both you and your child.
Encourage the Child to Comply
If your child is very young, compliance with the custody order may be relatively simple. However, if your older child is refusing, you don’t have to physically force them out of your home.
Encouraging your child to comply shows that you’re trying to follow the custody arrangement and that you’re not deliberately trying to turn your child against the other parent.
Document All Refusals
This is a critical part of protecting yourself from being charged with contempt of court. Write down the date, time, and circumstances of your child’s refusals to comply with the order.
Keep the Other Parent Informed
Make sure to notify the child’s other parent each time they refuse. Otherwise, the other parent could assume you’re trying to keep the child from them. If the child is old enough, you might consider asking them to directly tell the other parent why they don’t want to follow the custody order.
Can an Older Child Petition the Court Directly?
In Maryland, a child who is at least 16 and subject to a custody order may petition the court themselves to change an existing custody agreement. The child doesn’t need the approval of a parent or guardian to do so.
If your child files a petition, the court will hold a hearing. If the judge agrees with the child that a change would be in their best interests, they will modify the custody arrangement.
Need to Discuss a Modification?
If your child is refusing to follow a custody schedule, it can add stress to an already very difficult situation. You want to do what’s best for your child but also want to avoid potentially serious legal consequences.
That’s where we come in. Blattner Family Law Group is dedicated to helping Maryland families navigate divorce, child custody, and other difficult situations. If you think we may be the right firm for you, contact us to schedule a consultation today!