When a couple gets married, the hope is that their shared goals, values, and commitment to the relationship will be enough to carry them through good times and bad. 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way. Over the years, your partner may have dramatically changed, putting you in a situation you never agreed to. Or you might have believed everything was going well — only to be blindsided by your spouse seeking a divorce and child custody.

Regardless of the circumstances leading you to contact a divorce attorney, the process of separating one life and household into two is not only legally complex but also emotionally taxing. Even so, divorce is sometimes the best option. What are some of the most common reasons people divorce today?

Infidelity

While U.S. Census Bureau data reveals a slight decline in divorce rates over a 10-year period (while marriage rates held steady), statistics show that roughly 43% of first marriages will end in divorce. That number increases to 67% for second marriages and 73% for third marriages.

Among the top reasons couples divorce is infidelity, which includes both physical and emotional cheating. According to the American Psychological Association, affairs are to blame for an estimated 20% to 40% of divorces.

In some cases, cheating is just one indication of serious underlying problems in the marriage. When one or both spouses feel the need to break the most basic marriage vow and seek romantic entanglement elsewhere, it doesn’t bode well for the relationship.

Financial Problems

Some people are savers and investors. Others have a “you can’t take it with you” attitude. Some are shopaholics, while others simply lack financial literacy.

Financial problems in marriage can spring from a variety of wells, such as lack of funds, high debt-to-income ratio, and different attitudes toward spending and saving. Some couples come into conflict because a spouse believes their partner is not pulling their financial weight. 

No matter the cause, debt and money problems can place incredible strain on a relationship, potentially exacerbating other issues and resulting in divorce.

Poor Communication

In an ideal marriage, both spouses speak in an honest, open, respectful, and assertive manner. However, some people communicate aggressively, passively, or passive-aggressively, which can create resentment and emotional distance. In other cases, one person’s communication style may simply be incompatible with their partner’s. 

People also have different love languages. One partner might crave words of affirmation, while the other feels abandoned without regular physical touch. When two people express or wish to receive romantic love differently, they can get lost in a complex web of miscommunications. 

Many couples become aware of these communication problems and work together to address them. Compromise and understanding are possible for committed partners, but consistently poor communication can tank a relationship.

Substance Abuse or Addiction

Addiction, or substance use disorder (SUD), is an all-consuming, chronic condition that causes addicts to compulsively seek drugs despite harm to themselves and the people who care most about them.

A healthy relationship just isn’t possible when untreated substance abuse is a factor. While many couples seek help and survive such hurdles, it’s not uncommon for marriages involving substance abuse or addiction to end in divorce.

Domestic Violence

No relationship that includes harmful, violent behavior by one partner toward the other (or by both partners) can be called healthy. 

Domestic violence is not only physically dangerous but also creates fear, damages trust, and promotes instability within a relationship. Even with intensive professional help, a pattern of abuse can be incredibly difficult to recover from.

Gray Divorce

When couples choose to divorce later in life, at age 50 or older, it’s known as gray divorce. 

What drives divorce among couples who have been married for decades and raised a family together? In some cases, partners develop diverging goals and interests after the kids have left the nest or after they reach retirement age. Some spouses cite incompatibility or dissatisfaction in their marriage. 

With seniors living longer and enjoying greater financial independence, remaining in an unhappy marriage simply may not make sense.

Divorce Is a Personal Choice

Even when couples can’t see eye to eye, divorce doesn’t have to be a foregone conclusion. However, some problems are simply insurmountable, and the reduced stigma around divorce makes it easier for couples to split so that each party can pursue happiness elsewhere.

If you’re considering divorce, an experienced family law attorney can guide you through the process and protect your interests. Contact Blattner Family Law Group today to schedule a free consultation.